Friday, July 3, 2009

the earthworm

Mrs. Brown had taught first grade for twenty years or more.
She was a real good teacher; all the folks knew that for sure.

One day in her zeal to teach her students helpful things
She chose drinking whiskey, and the problems that it brings.


She poured some whiskey in a glass so they could plainly see,
Then showed to them an earthworm. All the students squealed with glee.


“See how he wiggles and moves so fast,” said Mrs. Brown, and then
She dropped him straight down in the glass. They didn’t understand.


She held the glass, and then she said, “Now, come and look inside.”
They looked, and it was plain to see, he had shriveled up and died.


“Now children,” she said tenderly, “you’ve all looked at this worm.
“Can anyone explain today the lesson that you’ve learned?”


All the students shook their heads, but Johnny raised his hand.
“I know, I know,” Little Johnny said. “I know! I understand!”


Mrs. Brown saw Johnny’s hand and she was very glad.
With glowing eyes and a happy heart, she looked at him and said,


“All right, Johnny. Stand up, now, and tell them what you learned.”
“If you drink whiskey all the time, you never will have worms!”

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

羊的愤怒-笑话

一群动物到海上旅行,船突然出现故障超载要扔掉一些东西减轻重量,不然会沉没。这时一个动物提议:所有动物都讲一个笑话,如果有一个动物觉得不好笑就要把它扔下船。羊先说,说完之后除了猪没笑大家都笑了,羊就被扔下船。接着牛讲笑话,牛讲完之后大家都没笑就猪大笑。大家不解的问猪:你为什么笑?它回答说:我终于想通了羊讲的笑话为什么好笑。

我们为什么在动物园里?-笑话

小骆驼问爸爸:“我们的驼峰有什么用呢?”
爸爸说:“我们在沙漠里可以用驼峰储存粮食啊!”
小骆驼接着问:“我们的肉垫有什么用?”
爸爸说:“我们在沙漠里,有肉垫就不回陷进沙里头啊!”
小骆驼又问爸爸:“那我们的眼睫毛有什么用?”
爸爸说:“这样就可以遮挡风沙!”
小骆驼最后问:“那我们为什么在动物园里呢?”
爸爸:“@#$%&。”

新龟兔赛跑-笑话

自从兔子输给了乌龟后,心里很生气,有一次,他遇见了乌龟,要求和他比赛,乌龟答应了。第一场兔子输了,原来他太急,跑错了方向,等他来的终点时,乌龟早已获胜了,兔子不服输。
第二场比赛,兔子认准了方向,跑啊跑,快到终点时,他想看看乌龟在哪里,便转过头来看,他见乌龟不在,心里暗暗高兴,想:这次我赢定了,乌龟它算老几啊?等他回过头,乌龟已经在终点上了。兔子很奇怪,问乌龟:“你又是怎么赢我的?”乌龟对兔子说:“我一直咬着你的尾巴,你转过头时,就把我甩到这里来了!”兔子生气了:“不算不算,乌龟作弊!”
最后一次比赛,兔子格外小心,生怕又被乌龟占了空子。兔子快到终点时,远远看去前面好像是乌龟,走进一看,真的是乌龟。兔子认输了。它问乌龟:“乌龟大哥,我认输了,不过您得告诉我,您是怎样赢我的?”乌龟对他说:“兔子老弟,现在都什么年代了,我是打车过来的!”

傻鹦鹉-笑话

小x又去逛鸟市。发现一只鹦鹉标价3元钱。
于是他就问卖主:您这只鹦鹉怎么这么便宜呀?
卖主:我这只鹦鹉笨!妈的我教了它好长时间了。到现在为止就只会说一句话--“谁呀?”
小x一想反正也便宜,于是就买下来了。
晚上到了家,他想“我就不信教不会你!”,于是小x教了它一夜说别的话。
可是到了早晨,那只鹦鹉还是只会说“谁呀?”,于是小x一生气,锁上门去上班了。
过了一会,来了一个查收煤气费的(简称小z)。
小z,“咚咚咚……”(敲门声)
鹦鹉:谁呀?
小z:查煤气的。
鹦鹉:谁呀?
小z:查煤气的。
鹦鹉:谁呀?
小z:查煤气的。
到了晚上,小x回来了。看见家门口有个人躺在地上,口吐白沫。
小x:呦~!这是谁呀?
就听见屋里:查煤气的。

Thursday, June 11, 2009

8个士兵<笑话>

8个士兵请了一天假到城里去玩,可是到第二天早上出操时还没回来。中尉十分恼火。
7点一过,第一个士兵来了。
“很抱歉,长官。”他向中尉解释道,“我的表慢了。没有赶上火车,就租了一辆汽车往回赶,可是半路汽车又坏了,我只好到村里买了一匹马,谁想马又死了。我跑了10多里路才赶回来的。”
中尉对他的话十分怀疑。紧接着。又陆续回来了6个士兵,全都是那套——误了火车,租汽车,买马的接口。中尉正要发火,最后一个士兵到了。
“我误了火车,就租辆汽车……”
“住嘴!”中尉揪住他咆哮道,“你再敢说汽车坏了吗?”
“不!长官”士兵喘了口气,“汽车没坏,但路上有那么多坏了的汽车和马,汽车过不来呀!”

对不起那死去的猪<笑话>

食堂里一女生打了份单锅回锅肉,那么多肥肥的肉片,她吃得很香,引起一男生的注意,男生看了女生一眼,心里说:“吃这么肥还长那么瘦,真是对不起那死去的猪!”

卖上等茶叶<笑话>

有三个人买东西````
店主问第一个人:你要什么?
:我要一包上等茶叶
于是,店主架上梯子```爬到楼上拿了包茶叶下来````
问第二个人```你要什么 ?
:一包上等茶叶```店主有些埋怨他怎么不早说```于是店主只好又架梯子```
爬了上去```问第三个人`:你也要一包上等茶叶是不是?
:不是````
店主听到不是就下来了``````把东西给了第二个人```
问第三个人`:那你要什么```
:要两包上等茶叶````

Thursday, June 4, 2009

忘带钱包 <笑话>

威克小城最近很乱,所以很多人出门都不戴钱包。斯尔星期三一早去上班,刚走不远就被一个拿着刀的人逮住。
  “快拿钱包,否则杀了你。”
  斯尔得意的说:“我没带,不信你可以搜。”
  那人翻遍全身,很失望的要走,忽然一个举着钱包的小孩跑过来喊到:“爸爸,你忘记带钱包!”

从“0”开始<笑话>

父亲:“刚开学考试,你怎么就得了个‘0’分?”
儿子:“老师说,我们一切都要从‘0’开始。”

父亲:“刚开学考试,你怎么就得了个‘0’分?”
儿子:“老师说,我们一切都要从‘0’开始。”

Monday, June 1, 2009

Some Hindu Proverbs

SELF PRAISE is no praise.

The young crow is wiser than its mother.

What is play to one is death to another.

In a treeless country, the castor-oil plant is a big tree

A scalded cat dreads cold water.

The washerman never tears his father's clothes.

A fool went to fish, but lost his fishing-basket.

A thief is a thief, whether he steals a diamond or a cucumber.

God takes care of a blind cow.

One who cannot dance blames the floor.

laugh

某老师问学生:"1+1=?"
学生:不知道。
老师:“回去问你妈妈。”
学生来到麻将馆,他妈妈大喊:“2筒,胡了。”他又来到他爸爸那,只听见他爸爸唱歌:“求求你给我个机会。”他又来到他哥那,只见他哥哥在看电视,里面正在打拳,他哥哥大喊:“加油,用力,再来。”
学生回到教室里,老师问:“1+1=?”学生说:“2筒,胡了。”老师扇了他一耳光,那学生说:“求求你给我个机会。”老师又扇了他一耳光,学生说:“加油,用力,再来。”

Monday, May 25, 2009

pPOEM LAUGH

1. I love u ,
u love me,
we r happy family with a big big hug and a kiss for u won't u said u love me too

2.I kick u ,
u kick me ,
we r pinching family with a big big knock and a bit for u won't u said u hate me too !!

Monday, May 18, 2009

my photo

check this out

how to be more clever[real}

1. Before exam don't eat food like :curry ,mee ,kopi and others
2. never over stressed yourself
3. more exercise
4. where you read the book something you need to remember _hightlight it {advice to use the colour :green ,red ,yellow}

Sunday, May 10, 2009

to see the comic and older post

1.press the comic
2. to see my older post go down you could see older post press it and you could see it
3.enjoy yourself

my own comic



Friday, May 8, 2009

我的夢想世界

· 在可愛的森林中央,有一棟美麗的城堡,那個地方就是我的夢想世界。
·
· 那棟房子的顏色是粉紅色,形狀就像南瓜一樣,每一個窗戶都是不同形狀的,有心形、星形、菱形;房子前面有彎彎的水藍色小河;小河後面有五座山,山上面佈滿了巧克力碎片和許多棒棒糖;山的前面是一座很大很寬的城堡,而且那裡的風景還很漂亮呢!山上面的雲朵是用棉花糖做成的;雲朵旁有一顆永遠笑笑瞇瞇的太陽。
·
· 在我的夢想世界中,共有五座山,那五座山分別種了芋頭、糖果、紅蘿蔔、棒棒糖、巧克力碎片,所以那邊的人民都不用上班,只要到山上去採收食物,就可以填飽肚子。
· 突然間,我被小鳥叫聲吵醒了,唉!

• 我的夢想世界

在一座充滿香甜氣息的森林裡,充滿了各式各樣的糖果,那裡個地方就是我的夢想世界。
那裡有一棟房屋是又高又大,形狀是正方形的樣子,顏色是粉紅色,整棟房子是用糖果建造而成的;’房子的後面有彎彎曲曲的小河,河裡面住著螃蟹、小魚和章魚;小河後面有一座饅頭山,山上佈滿了白雪;白雲是彩色的;白雲上的太陽公公開心的笑著。 那個世界會下糖果雨,糖果會堆積在山頂上,所以那裡每一個人隨時隨地都可以上山拿糖果吃,而且都不會而且都不會餓肚子,每天都吃的飽飽的,好幸福唷!
突然,我被雷聲驚醒,原來只是在做白日夢,真的好可惜!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Monday, May 4, 2009

read it now !!!!

write a story-mother's day《母亲节 》

1.available write in chinese or english
2.before august 5th
3.for primary to secondary
4.give us your name ,school
5.every month we will have five winner
6.prize will be announce sooner late

Saturday, May 2, 2009

my dream land

A land of birds and wildlifeOf crystal lakes and streamsA space to lay your head backAnd visualize your dreamsA lazy hawk above youFloats backwards on the airBlue heron with a purposeFlies alone up there
Pine needles whisper soothing songsIf you take the time to listenAnd morning dew on leafy treesCan make your whole world glisten"Ed's Live Bait" and "Wood for Sale"Not neon signs, but paintAnd Sunday Mass, with reverenceIn a House of God, so quaintClouds touched by the RadianceOf His own Hand bespeakOf peace and love and shelterAnd strength when we are weak
My Dreamland has lent harmonyUnto this troubled mindAnd it can do the same for youIf you are so inclined.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

you know this is a cute image !see and check it out ! its maken of......mango,cherry tomato !

and this is make up of mushrooms !!!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

my new teacher

You know i have a new teacher . She is very kind . She was 21 years old.she teaches us chiese. She was very+very+very smart. She was a kl .You know my form teacher says that she was .My class students and i like her very much .But she only teach us 2 week .BYE BYE teacher !!!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

我的夢想世界

· 在美丽的森林中央,有一棟美麗的城堡,那個地方就是我的夢想世界。
·
· 那棟房子的顏色是粉紅色,形狀就像南瓜一樣,每一個窗戶都是不同形狀的,有心形、星形、菱形;房子前面有彎彎的水藍色小河;小河後面有五座山,山上面佈滿了巧克力碎片和許多棒棒糖;山的前面是一座很大很寬的城堡,而且那裡的風景還很漂亮呢!山上面的雲朵是用棉花糖做成的;雲朵旁有一顆永遠笑笑瞇瞇的太陽。
·
· 在我的夢想世界中,共有五座山,那五座山分別種了芋頭、糖果、紅蘿蔔、棒棒糖、巧克力碎片,所以那邊的人民都不用上班,只要到山上去採收食物,就可以填飽肚子。
·
· 突然間,我被小鳥叫聲吵醒了,唉!只是一場白日夢